
Guys, listen up.
Literally.
If you want to impress a woman, listen up.
I went out with a group of people for my friend Charlena’s birthday last night. Being one of the few straight men in attendance, Charlena was eager to introduce me to her boyfriend Owen’s sister, Norah, a nurse from Milwaukee who was in town for the weekend.
“Hey, Rick knows Myers-Briggs,” Charlena said in front of everyone, grinning. “Rick, why don’t you see if you can figure out Norah’s personality type.”
Charlena is smart.
Charlena is sweet.
Charlena can go to hell.
Still, I gave in and sat down next to Norah. Turned out she already knew her type. So we discussed that. Then I listened. I listened as she talked about her job; about how her co-workers of different types drive her nuts; about her mother, a retired nurse who is now a talented and published writer. I made eye contact. I paid attention. I actually let the woman speak, sometimes in stretches that lasted for (gasp!) more than a minute. I didn’t take a drink. I didn’t check my BlackBerry. I didn’t try to interject lame one-liners. I didn’t eye bang her.
When it was my turn to talk, I spoke clearly, elaborated on points, continued to make eye contact, etc. In other words, we had what I would consider to be a mature, adult conversation in a bar. I write this not to pat myself on the back. I write this because Owen, Norah’s brother, said something that really struck me.
“Hey,” he said, shaking my hand as I was leaving. “This isn’t a loaded statement, but my sister really, really enjoyed talking to you tonight. She said guys don’t ever pay attention and talk to her like that.”
Fellas, this is lame.
You want to meet women? You want to impress women? Stop dousing yourselves with Axe body spray and using cosmo after cosmo to try to get into some sweet young thang’s pants. Instead, be confident. Be brave. Be bold. Be human. Be polite. Ask questions.
But mostly, shut up and listen.
And I mean listen. I don’t mean laugh at stuff that isn’t funny or affirm her every thought with “uh huh, uh huh” because you think it will get you laid.
Listen for the sake of listening.











